Luck, privilege, and prayers

If I’ve heard the story once, I’ve heard it a thousand times. My dad was kid, and his big sister was bringing a date to their house for the first time. My dad stuck a whoopee cushion under the couch so that when the boy sat down to chat with my grandparents, a loud fart sound rocked the living room. My dad thought it was hilarious, but I’m sure the guy was horrified.

Well, that boy grew up and married someone else, and they had a kid, and that kid grew up and got married to a woman who was recently diagnosed with cholangiocarcinoma. Her doctor in Memphis told her there was no hope, but a friend put her in touch with a friend at MD Anderson, and a few weeks later, she was in a clinical trial. This particular trial, according to the research we have done, seems to be the best next step for me as well.

Recently, I heard something on a podcast about how people often use the word “luck” to describe privilege. I have caught myself using the word “lucky” over the past couple of days to describe parts of my cancer journey. Connections through friends and family have created faster access to better doctors than I could have obtained on my own. Obviously, I am grateful for these connections, but I can’t help but think about where I would be in the process without them. And I can’t help but think of all of the people out there who, for reasons outside of their control, don’t have the same social capital.

To be clear, I will continue to seek out connections and find the right people to help me get healthy. But I think it is important to acknowledge it, call it privilege, be grateful for the help, and move on with the hope that one day we will have a medical system that works for everyone. 

Some things in life really are just luck, though. I spent the weekend in Cancun with three work colleagues who, over the past few years, have become real friends. I am grateful that our paths crossed and that I get to work with them and learn from them and lean on them everyday and even sit on the beach with them every once in a while. 

And, finally, maybe some things aren't luck or privilege. Maybe some things we manifest ourselves through love and prayers and the energy we put into the Universe. I feel great, my liver levels are improving, and I can't help but think that that has something to do with the collective energy all of you are putting out on my behalf. Thank you!